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Wednesday 15 June 2016

Wisdom Without Zealotry - Feelings, Opinions, and Dopamine

There can be great differences in what a person feels is true and if that feeling is actually truthful. This is because feelings are based on emotion, and facts are based in logic. It is perfectly possible that both the feeling and the truth are the same but if the feeling is not true it is difficult to have a person understand that it is false. I will explain, using some knowledge gained from an exceptional book, The Righteous Mind, and other sources.

Feelings are sometimes used to armor up opinions to give them more weight and value. Someone might say that X and Y are facts and that they are not debatable; but the opinion is actually just a feeling to the person who said it. Not fact. When opinions/feelings are factually wrong it will be hard to sway the person who said them and no amount of evidence will convince the group who is feeling they are right to acknowledge reason. They are not processing the new information because of strong feelings about the "truth" of a claim. The more zealous the person the more entrenched they will be. This is because the brain or kidneys may be rewarding the brain/body pathways with dopamine when it keeps the armor up on a very strong opinion/feeling. In order to change it, their feelings have to change and/or they have to understand the evidence and/or they have to see their feelings for what they are; emotion rather than logic.

Feelings are personal. They are closely held viewpoints on topics that can range from politics and religion to cooking and child rearing. One can never argue against a feeling because the person who has them is invested in that viewpoint regardless of its truth or untruth. They will defend it and the more strongly they feel it to be true, the more likely they will want to be rewarded with a hit of dopamine. The key to identifying if someone is arguing from a feeling is to determine if the statement is valid for the person who has it (or a small group) but is not valid for a neutral observer. Remember that this may not be yourself if you feel very strongly in the extreme opposite (Be objective, B..E..objective). That will help with the next step...

Patience is required in dealing with feelings. Remember that you can never tell a person that their feeling or opinion is wrong because you are not them. It will cause them to rationalize their stance and potentially release dopamine when they are successful, if it is a very strong stance. It is addictive and may cause the person to be even more extreme to hold onto their emotional stance to maintain their hit. Remember that they came to that feeling/opinion based on a lifetime of experiences. You can help them analyze the whys and wherefores of how they came to that viewpoint.  By doing so you offer new viewpoints while reassuring them on their current ones so as to not shut them away from you.

Use a phrase like, "I understand that you feel this way because of your experiences. You feel that X and Y are the way they are because of Z. I have had different experiences and do not see them as being connected. Why am I wrong?". This has less of a chance of driving them further down the rabbit hole while keeping them engaged. It also helps them verbally describe why they feel their stance is right.

Ensure you keep them on topic because if they drift off topic it may be that they sense their original viewpoint is changing. They might say something that will reinforce their viewpoint to get the hit of dopamine.

People can also change their own minds independently and usually occurs with an emotional response to a new experience.

In conclusion offering other viewpoints, evidence and logical points through calm and patient dialogue and reassurance can help others realize their feelings are not truth. Do not be overtly confrontational, as an emotional response on your part will invoke one on theirs. Finally, realize that you could be the one that has the emotional stance and are wrong. The wise man calls themselves a fool at least once a month.

References not listed above:

http://www.houstonpress.com/arts/no-it-s-not-your-opinion-you-re-just-wrong-7611752

http://www.houstonpress.com/arts/a-guide-to-arguing-with-a-snopes-denier-6384551

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